


Hope, still

by LostCauses (Anteros)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Chapter 83, Character Study, M/M, all the feels, eruri - Freeform, snk 83
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7456870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anteros/pseuds/LostCauses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There has always been a stillness to Erwin Smith.  A stillness born of strength, control, determination.  He carries the burden of duty on squared shoulders, head held high.</p><p>People say that Erwin Smith is cold, heartless.  They don’t recognise the stillness for what it is.  They don’t see the toll it takes.  </p><p>But Levi sees it.</p><p>Written in response to SnK chapter 83.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope, still

There has always been a stillness to Erwin Smith. A stillness born of strength, control, determination. He carries the burden of duty on squared shoulders, head held high. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t falter, when he gives the order that sends a hundred men to their death. He stands impassive in front of the funeral pyre, fist clenched over his heart in a firm salute, as bones crack and spit, splintering in the flames. In the face of death the Commander is still, adamant, unyielding.

People say that Erwin Smith is cold, heartless. They don’t recognise the stillness for what it is. They don’t see the toll it takes. 

But Levi sees it.

Levi has seen the stillness that comes with overwhelming exhaustion, when fatigue finally overtakes Erwin and Levi finds him slumped over his desk, quill limp in his hand, fingers stained with ink.

He has see the hot heavy stillness of fever when Erwin lay pallid and sweating in an infirmary bed, an awful space where his arm used to be, and a hand that Levi can no longer hold.

And Levi has seen other stillnesses. 

The stillness of tranquil oblivion when sleep finally overtakes Erwin; that moment when his brows unfurrow, and the firm line of his mouth goes slack. Levi lies quietly beside him, watching as the years fall away and he catches a glimpse of the boy that Erwin Smith must once have been. 

And Levi has seen the precious stillness of release, when Erwin gives everything he has to give and more, and they lie tangled together, motionless in the afterglow.

But Levi has seen nothing like this. 

Nothing could have prepared him for the awful stillness as the soldier lays Erwin down on the rooftop at his feet. Levi drops to his knees, and everything else fades out as he cradles Erwin’s head in his hand. He’s still, so still, and for a moment Levi could almost believe he’s sleeping, if it wasn’t for the dark pool of blood that’s already staining the tiles by his side. It’s such a familiar gesture, but Levi’s heart is frozen in his chest as he reaches out to touch, wondering if this time will be the last time. He lays his hand on Erwin’s cheek and it’s cold, so cold. But on his palm he feels it, against all the odds he feels it, the faintest flush of warmth.

He’s breathing, still. There’s hope, still.

And Levi knows what he has to do


End file.
